


A Decade Flameless

by PlayerOneMell



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety, Arson, Jake saves Rich, M/M, Post: SQUIP, Rich And Jake are engaged, Rich setting the fire, Rich’s SQUIP is in it, Song fic, Song lyrics in italics, Suicide (mentioned), Suicide warning because Rich starts the fire to end himself, WHERE IS THE MOUNTAIN DEW RED, anxiety attack, gasoline, halloween party, richjake, small bit of fluff, traumatizing nightmares, ”I always liked to play with fire”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 04:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: Rich was seizing and fighting every instinct in his body as he leaked gasoline around the house. He couldn’t even hear what else was happening in the house. He didn’t know that Chloe and Jake were interacting. He didn’t know Jeremy had fled the house. He didn’t know that Michael was trying to find a way out of the bathroom without anyone seeing him. Rich only knew one thing: He would die that night.





	A Decade Flameless

_ Insane _

 

It’s a recurring memory that flashes quicker than a strobe light. Rich searching for safety somewhere, rapidly running around Jake’s house during that Halloween party. The boy is looking for Mountain Dew Red, just regular Mountain Dew- but red. He was just wondering where the fuck he could get some. It was a blur. 

 

Rich had struggled against his SQUIP is run because it was with every movement, he felt as if he was being shocked. He knew he had to something. Nothing would stop him. He was now aware of the mistakes he made. 

 

_ Inside, the danger gets me high _

 

The mistake of taking the dreaded gray oblong pill. There was absolutely no doubt about it. Sure - the SQUIP removed a lot of pain from his life, but what it’s saying now? It’s insane. Rich knew that this was all his fault. He gave the SQUIP to Jeremy- well he gave Jeremy the idea. Now the SQUIP wants to take over the entire school! The student body being controlled by one machine? No. Rich couldn’t stand for that. 

 

He knew there was only one way out of all of this and that was to make sure that the technology couldn’t reach anyone else. He had to keep everyone else safe. It is the only way - even if that means losing himself. Although, that really would get rid of all his problems, wouldn’t it? 

 

_ Can’t help myself  _

 

Rich continued to search the house but gave up after he scared the shit out of Jeremy and Christine. The two seemed to be having a moment. After the moment passed? Rich knew he could try and talk to Jeremy. If he had heard the SQUIP’s plan, he wouldn’t want to go along with it would he? 

 

Rich’s heart was pounding out of his chest. There had to be an escape from all of this. He felt as if chains were wrapped around his entire body, but maybe that’s just how painful the shocks are getting. The SQUIP became some sort of torture machine instead of a helper to the short Goranski boy. 

 

_ Got secrets I can’t tell _

 

The little punk felt the struggle to talk and the struggle to breathe as the SQUIP tried to take over his body. He sat on the white couch of Jake’s living room. He was a few seat cushions away from Jeremy. 

 

“A warning about the drinking with the SQUIP would’ve been nice!” Jeremy scoffed. 

 

Rich had never warned Jeremy about what happens when you drink alcohol and have a SQUIP. The SQUIP will malfunction and start speaking Japanese. Rich guessed that was what had been happening with Jeremy; however, Rich didn’t really have the time to process that for the time being. 

 

“Jeremy, this is really important.” Rich said, ignoring what Jeremy had just said. 

 

Rich had a hand clasped to his chest, he was clearly struggle. One of his muscles would suddenly start to seize. It's what would happen while his SQUIP was trying to talk to him. 

 

“Do you where I can get some-” Rich is cut off by his SQUIP and he hit his chest, trying to get air through. “Mountain-” cut off again, hit his chest. “Mountain dew r-r-r-”

 

Suddenly, without warning, Rich’s facial expression went blank and he stood up. His motions were similar to a machine. He stood up. Jeremy look confused as he looked at Rich. Jeremy had had a long night after all. 

 

“WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!” Rich said, walking away from the couch. 

 

_ I love the smell of gasoline _

 

It was in that moment that Rich had found a gallon of gasoline. The stuff that people can buy or fill up at gas stations. Rich hadn’t even guessed why Jake had one because he only had one thought in his mind. His thought was to end it all. 

 

“I have to make sure you don’t hurt anyone else.” Rich breathed out. 

‘How do you plan on doing that?’ His SQUIP hummed. 

“By doing this.” Rich ran quickly, intending to start a fire. 

 

Rich had always thought the worst of his suffering was when his father came home drunk. When his father would abuse him for no reason at all. Rich had always been a relatively good kid! He was a nerd, but the SQUIP changed him. This was now clear to him as he was literally fighting for his life. But it hit Rich - to get rid of his SQUIP? He needed to end himself as well. 

 

Rich was seizing and fighting every instinct in his body as he leaked gasoline around the house. He couldn’t even hear what else was happening in the house. He didn’t know that Chloe and Jake were interacting. He didn’t know Jeremy had fled the house. He didn’t know that Michael was trying to find a way out of the bathroom without anyone seeing him. Rich only knew one thing: He would die that night. 

 

_ I light the match _

 

Rich knew that there was one thing left to do. He would never have to go home again after this. He would never have to feel the miserable shocks that he is feeling right now. He was struggle and it would all end soon. He had almost lost all control by the time he ignited the match. 

 

_ To taste the heat  _

 

It was Rich’s way to go out of this world, and it was his way to leave. He didn’t know what else to do. It’s all over for him now. He throws the match into the trail of gasoline that he had left all over the house. 

 

_ I’ve always liked to play with fire _

 

The flames took up and around the house rather quickly. They reflected deeply in Rich’s eyes. Rich’s eyes were almost watering from the pain and the fact that he knew this was the end. Did he want to die? Not exactly. He didn’t want to be a hero either. He just knew he couldn’t live with the SQUIP in his brain anymore. He couldn’t find any Mountain Dew Red, so he found some other solution.

 

_ Play with fire _

 

Sure, it made Rich look practically mentally insane. No, it definitely made Rich look mentally insane. There was absolutely no doubt about that. Rich felt the flames surround him. He felt the need to cry out, his SQUIP was screaming at him. There was another voice Rich could hear it. 

 

_ I’ve always liked to play with fire. _

 

Who was it? Rich didn’t know the the flames seemed to surround him. Rich could simply pass out right then and there from smoke inhalation or from warmth. It had been a long and insane Halloween night for Rich. He had been acting like this just before Chloe had dragged Jeremy up to Jake’s parents room. It was empty since Jake’s parents aren’t around anymore. That’s a different tragic story. 

 

_ I ride, the edge _

 

The voice finally broke through to the boy who was standing in the middle of all the hot burning flames. Rich could’ve sworn some of the flames were green, but that is just the color of his SQUIP. His SQUIP left circuit marks in his skins that were a bright, neon green pigment. 

 

Rich snapped his head around and looked to see his best friend, Jake Dillinger. He was surprised that Jake was still around. For Christ’s sake, Rich just set his house on fire! It’s the one thing that Jake had left from his parents that had disappeared without a trace. God, Rich must’ve looked insane. 

 

He did. Rich’s eyes had gone the bright green with some light glowing behind them. This was the doing of his SQUIP. Jake knew he had to save his best friend from the fire. He couldn’t just stand there and watch him die. He was completely ignoring the fact that his best friend had just committed arson. 

 

_ My speed goes in the red _

 

Rich can hear Jake calling out for him. Rich almost can’t hear him. It is as if Jake’s voice is muffled. Jake raced into the flames and tried to help Rich. Rich’s body was starting on fire on it’s own. Rich couldn’t control his body but he started letting out these horrific screams. 

 

_ Hot blood _

 

Jake had to calmly tell Rich what to do. He had to save Rich’s life. Rich felt his veins being shocked by the SQUIP. His SQUIP is scolding him for what he had done. This was illegal! Although, it wasn’t the first illegal thing Rich had done. After all, having a SQUIP is illegal because the gray oblong pill is actually an illegal drug and untested technology. 

 

_ My pleasure is their pain _

 

Rich saw the horror in Jake’s eyes. Jake was his best friend, and Jake had lost everyone else in his life. Jake was determined not to lose Rich, and would do absolutely anything to ensure this. Jake would not lose the only person left in his life. The only person in his life that he loved. It was in that moment Jake had realized he was in love with Rich. 

 

Rich felt the memory slip away just as Jake had scooped him into his arms jumped out the window. He could still remember the echoing of the cracking sound after Jake broke his legs. The blaring sirens. The memory still slipped away. 

 

_ I love to watch the castles burn  _

 

Rich looked at the Dillinger house go up in flames. He felt his body sizzle against what he had just experienced. It was all so awful. Then, suddenly without warning, the memory went blank. 

 

_ These golden ashes go to dirt _

 

Rich relived the night in his head on repeat and could still feel the heat against his body. At the same time, he remembered waking up in the hospital room. He was alone. No one was there. Jake was gone. Nothing but a heart monitor ringing in his ears. 

 

_ I’ve always liked to play with fire _

 

The memory slips once again in the blink of an eye and he is back in Jake’s house watching the flames rise. What would happen if that night went differently? If Jake never saved him. That is where Rich’s imagination comes into play. 

 

_ Play with fire _

As his imagination comes into play, he heard the flames roar like a lion loudly in his ears. The tears were overwhelming. The heat was hard to handle. Rich could imagine himself running away from the fire and the flames chasing him. 

 

_ Fire, Fire _

 

Another different scenario in which his SQUIP was completely on fire. Every shock and prickle in his body was a different part setting on fire. Rich’s mind was racing and his heart was thrumming against that green Halloween costumes he wore. 

 

_ Oh, watching as the flames get higher _

 

He imagined another scenario as if the fire situation went completely differently and no one had left the party at all. His friends calling out to him as the fire engulfed every square inch of the Dillinger house. His friends catching on fire. Brooke was unaware cause she was crying. Chloe not noticing because she is oblivious. Jake trying to run and escape the flames. Jeremy having jumped into the flames after being rejected by Christine. Michael, being too scared to leave the bathroom, allowing the flames to take him over. 

 

_ I’ve always liked to play with fire _

 

It would’ve been all Rich’s fault if that was how his friends died. Not only a young teenager who committed arson, but a young teenager who committed murder. He didn’t like imagining situations like that - but his brain had the image crash against his eyelids, almost as harsh as the scolding hot flames, as Rich sleeps. 

 

_ I’ve always liked to play with f- _

 

“RICH!” Jake calls out, shaking his shoulder. 

 

It’s present time, and Rich wakes up with a start. He has experienced yet another traumatic nightmare from the fire he set on the dreaded Halloween night. Multiple ones. Jake looks at his fiancé with concern. 

 

“Rich, babe, are you alright?” Jake asks, raising an eyebrow. 

 

Rich shakes his head in response trying to regain his breath. He tries to calm down, but he can feel the tears streaming down his face. The fire had happened ten years ago, and he is still feeling the aftershocks from it. 

 

“Can I touch you? Hold you?” Jake asks softly and kindly, having dealt with Rich’s nightmares in the past. 

“Pleathe do.” Rich says with his lisp. 

 

Jake wraps his arms around Rich, and the boy with the third degree burns on his skin seems to calm a little bit. Being engulfed in Jake’s arm is much better than being engulfed in burning hot flames. Life is better now. That fire is ten years in the past. His brain just can’t seem to let it go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my best friend for helping me title this. This is a song fic. The song is “Play With Fire” by Sam Tinnesz. I found the song from an editing account on Instagram. They’re amazing.   
> Hope you guys liked this work, tell me what you thought! I’ve never really written Rich before, but I tried my best.


End file.
